I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
