Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
