Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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