OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
