i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
