Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
