I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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