Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
