i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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