Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
