He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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