My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
