This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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