She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize