Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I AM VODKA MAN
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
