After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
