Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize