i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
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