I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
