wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
