So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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