i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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