She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
