She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
then he tried to convert me to islam
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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