My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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