She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
