threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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