um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize