im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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