I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
