so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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