one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I skipped work to stalk him.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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