After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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