This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
how does that bad decision feel?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
