That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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