D3 body, D1 cock
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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