omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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