dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
