i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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