so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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