I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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