would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
