a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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