im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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