dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize