I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
