i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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