sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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