I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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