i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
