6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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