I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have demons in me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
whose parrot is this?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
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