Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize