Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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