My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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