i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
