So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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