I'm going to jail i love you
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
