I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
