just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
