so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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