So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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