Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize