you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
