Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
