Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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