i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
