anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
