He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
do herpes really smell.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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