FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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