why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize