You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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