my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
