He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
