ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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