he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So apparently I’m into choking now
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