FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
