If i come over, it means nothing
I am spending my child support on dildos
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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