escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize